Lord of the Seven Seas
by Russia-kolkhoz
Summary: A certain blond gentleman is bored and decides to revert to his old pirate lifestyle. Join him and his motley crew as they embark on a quest to find a mysterious treasure. Unfortunately, other pirates are after the treasure too...
1. Chapter 1

England reclined in his chair by his favorite café, a fancy teacup in one hand and a newspaper in the other. His piercing green eyes scanned the page in front of him languidly. The newspaper had been relatively bland lately. _Why can't a chap get some decent news?_ Affairs in Iraq…blahblahblah…strikes in France… yadda yadda yadda…WAIT! What was this?

An image of a splendid pirate ship seemed to pop out from the page. He immediately recognized the ship. Back in the days when he'd been the scourge of the high seas, this had been his sailing vessel. He'd sold it to an auction company a few weeks ago for a large sum of money. Apparently they had restored it to tip-top shape. _She's just as beautiful as she was when I first built her,_ the gentleman thought contentedly.

Under the picture, there was a huge speech bubble which said, "Real pirate ship! On auction at the harbor today!"

Britain considered attending the auction. He wanted to see his glorious ship in person one last time before it was sold. He downed the last of his tea and took a red double-decker bus to the harbor, where the auction was already in progress.

There she was, the sun glinting off the gold plaque on her starboard side. The _Sea Maiden_ at her peak was really a sight to behold. Her deck had been polished and scrubbed thoroughly, so the ship positively gleamed- she looked like she'd been sent from heaven. Massive white sails dangled from her towering mast and flapped in the calm breeze like angel wings. The holes that had once riddled her body had been expertly repaired. The maiden figurehead on her hull seemed to glow.

But even more impressive than the magnificent ship was the crowd surrounding it. People had come from every nook and cranny of London to witness the immaculate wonder. It was a rainbow coalition of people- rich, poor, fat, skinny, elegant, ugly, and everything in between.

England weaved through the immense throng of people with not a few "pardon me"s and "excuse me"s. On the dock stood a single man. The auctioner. The crowd was frenzied, waving all the money they had in the air for the auctioner to see. People pushed and shoved each other to get closer to him- there were even a few fistfights that broke out. The auctioner looked a bit panicked. A red rope separated him and the crowd, but the mob could jump over the rope any second.

_Save me,_ the maiden figurehead seemed to scream to her ex-master. Her unseeing eyes were wide and frightened.

Maybe it was the allure of the ship. Maybe it was because England longed for a deviation from his uneventful life. Or maybe it was a combination of both. But something caused Arthur to holler over the cacophony of the crowd. "Sir! I want to buy my ship back!" All at once, everything froze. The crowd parted in half to allow the blonde gentleman to walk through. There were some reproachful glances thrown his way, but otherwise the crowd was obedient. They understood what had happened. The original owner of the item being auctioned had first dibs on his own item at any auction, no matter how much any other bidder offered.

The auctioner wiped his forehead with relief. Britain produced a checkbook from his breast pocket and signed it for thirty million pounds, the exact same price he'd sold the vessel for. He handed the check to the auctioner, who smiled and quietly thanked him. "She'd all yours," said the man.

Arthur strode up the dock to a serenade of groans and mumbling from the crowd. "Oh, how I've missed you," he sighed, running a hand over the sleek ship's wooden frame.

Over the next few days, the gentleman hauled everything from his house onto the _Sea Maiden._ Passersby on the streets gave him weird looks. "He's completely mad!" They laughed and pointed every time they saw him tugging a full wagon of furniture and belongings to the harbor. With gritted teeth, Iggy ignored their jeering and continued with his work.

When his house was empty and his ship full, he sold the house. At this point, all his acquaintances thought him completely crazy. But Britain did not care. The old ship was his abode now.

What he needed now was a treasure to go after. Surely there could be reports on the web. He powered on his laptop and typed "Treasures" into the Google search bar. He scrolled down the page and clicked on every link he came across. Most of the information was fraudulent and unreliable, but there were several sites which mentioned a common treasure: the Gem of Power. According to the articles, the Gem could make its owner undefeatable, the absolute strongest. It could control the elements, offer invulnerability, give the user psychic powers, and even affect time and space, among many other functions.

This was exactly what England needed to start off on an adventure. Centuries of sitting on his haunches and drinking tea had made him restless.

He crossed the captain's quarters to a wardrobe in the corner. He rifled through his old clothes. Revolutionary War redcoat…Britannia Angel outfit…_the pirate suit._ He snatched it up eagerly, took the hanger off, and dressed in the familiar black pirate hat, rich red cloak with gold trim, and black boots. He admired himself in his full-length mirror.

Pirate Iggy was back.


	2. Chapter 2

One last thing on the pirate essentials- England needed a crew.

He printed off hundreds of flyers that he posted all around London- on the red double-deckers, on the college grounds, even some at the bottom of Big Ben. They all contained the same message: "Pirate looking for potential crew members! Apply today at the harbor! (Rich treasures await.)"

This didn't exactly spark the reaction Britain had been hoping for. Most people dismissed the flyers as an elaborate prank. Those who had guessed what the flyers really were got a good laugh out of it, thinking that the "chap was daft in the head."

Yet the extremely desperate (the ones who snuck around in the alleyways of London) showed up at the harbor, hoping beyond hope to find some gold or precious gems and get something better than a cardboard box to live in.

So, in the end, the unfortunate pirate was stuck with a band of scrawny hobos as his crew. This was hell on earth for him because he had been a well-dressed and well-mannered gentleman all his life. He'd never said a word to these ruffians, never mind associated himself with them. He held back the grimace that was forming on his face as he shook hands with his new "crew". Then, in his best nice host voice, he announced, "Firstly, I must warn you, the quest for the booty will be long and perilous. If any of you want to back out now, this is your one and only chance." His green eyes panned the crowd. When no one stirred, he continued, "Then welcome! From here on out, I shall be known as Captain Kirkland and you will address me accordingly. This ship here is the _Sea Maiden. _Your quarters will be below deck. I will assign shifts and jobs, and it will be your responsibility to carry out those jobs to the best of your ability. Any questions? None? Then let's board!"

Arthur allowed his crew to board the ship first, and as he was following them, he glimpsed something on the horizon. Then he heard a familiar "'Sup, British dude?" resound all across the harbor. _No. Please, no. Not _him_. Not now. _He scampered onto the vessel in hopes that America wouldn't see him.

No such luck. England's rich red cloak could've been spotted from half a mile away. He had no choice but to await Alfred's arrival in the harbor now. He stepped down from the _Sea Maiden_ onto the dock again with a resigned sigh. He put on his best scowl as his former colony came into clear view.

Once America was standing right in front of Britain, the boisterous nation took a good look at the gentleman's outfit and burst into obnoxious laughter. When he'd calmed down, he wiped mirthful tears from his sparkling blue eyes and asked, "Are you trying to dress up as Jack Sparrow or something? It's not even Halloween yet."

The irritated Brit replied, "Please. Jack Sparrow? That guy isn't half the pirate that I am."

The American looked defiant. "Jack Sparrow's the best pirate there is, bro."

"Yeah, whatever." England rolled his eyes. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a quest to go on."

"C'mon, dude, don't be like that. I came all the way here to see you and you're just gonna leave? That's totally unfair." Alfred crossed his arms and pouted.

"I _have_ to do this. If I find this ultimate treasure, I'll be the strongest country in the world, just like the old days!" He thought to himself, _It'll put the "Great" back in "Great Britain"._ Of course, he would never say this aloud; his pride would not allow him to.

"So you're going on an adventure?" Alfred suddenly got an eager look on his face, which gave Arthur a bad feeling. "Every adventure needs a HERO!"

"No, absolutely not." Britain could guess what America was implying. "This expedition is for Brits only. Last time I checked, you weren't a Brit. So just go right back to your continent."

"Please," the younger country begged with puppy-dog eyes. "The hero can't come all the way here for no adventure to go on. It's like a hamburger without cheese. It's like ice cream without a cherry on top! So pretty, pretty please _with_ a cherry on top, can I come with you?"

England tried to force himself to look away from America, but at last he gave in to his former colony's insistent begging (and puppy-dog eyes). "Fine! Just…stay out of my way."

"Yes!" Alfred hollered so loudly that it made the gentleman regret his decision immediately. "Let's go, guys!" An immense swarm of Americans who had come with their loud leader rushed onto the _Sea Maiden_'s deck. Arthur observed them disapprovingly, hoping that the ship wouldn't crumple from the weight of the fat Westerners.

His crew was now complete. He took his place at the wheel of the great vessel, the men hoisted the massive sails, and both Brits and Americans disembarked from the harbor into the vast ocean.


	3. Author's Note

Dear readers:

This story is on hold for now as I focus on Total Drama Hetalia. It is NOT being discontinued; I'm just not working on it for now. However, I promise that I will finish it sometime this summer after I'm done with Total Drama Hetalia. So for now…go read that one!

-Russia-kolkhoz


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